To do...

This is a piece I had written a couple of years back and stumbled upon it as I was cleaning my laptop. Here goes:

It’s the first Sunday of the month. As is my wont, I sit down tonight to analyze and dissect my life, to answer lofty questions such as: Where am I? Where am I going? Where am I supposed to be going? What is the ultimate goal of my life?

I scribble furiously on my ‘ThinkPad’. (I thought the idea of calling my journal that was very clever. Hehe, how I revel in the simple joys of life. But wait, this is supposed to be a tale of self admonishment. Sushhh! I chide myself.)

A sampling of my notes – You are losing yourself in the quagmire of day to day ‘To do’ lists. Your existence is as desultory as Ajit Agarkar’s bowling. Do you realize that the computer is not a person? No, sleep does not count as exercise! Don’t sweat the small stuff. All you can think of every weekend is doing laundry, reading Time and getting munchies from the Indian store. Deplorable! You have raised procrastination and inertia to an art form (Hey, that’s a neat idea for a car bumper sticker – “If it weren’t for Newton, I would be moving!”) Why don’t you pursue interesting activities? And so, I make a list of purportedly ‘fun’ activities – dancing lessons (yeah, a good way to meet cute women.), biking in downtown, photography classes (right, that will give vent to my enormous creative energies), join the local Scrabble club, ad infinitum ad nauseam… and resolve to do at least one such ‘fun’ activity every weekend.

Next - for various aspects of my reclining and declining life, I outline what I am missing out on and what I need to do. That thing you call your career, is in shambles…take stock of your skills and your knowledge base. Figure out a good transition strategy to India. Hmm, that R2I mailing list should help. Try to call home every weekend. Organize your documents with a good file storage system. Avoid the cola! If you must, do the diet cola. Start running a mile every other day in the gym. Increase your contribution to your 401 K – it will help in the ‘long run’. Old chap, create a study plan for the GMAT! From the scribbles, emerges a pattern. It tells me what I want versus what I need, it tells me where I am falling short…it tells me what I should be doing to correct the shortfall and slowly but steadily, the picture starts gaining resolution and I hone in on my school of thought…

Yes, that’s it – Eureka! The goal of my life is to be happy!! My mind conjures up the image of a pizza stuck on the wall, titled ‘Happiness’. A pie that has many sectors cut out with a not so sharp pizza cutter – family, career, health & exercise, friends, finances, academics, sports, blah & blah label each sector. The key is to channelize the energy He gives us into various sectors of the pie. Finding the right mix of energies into the right channels, coupled with being productive, effective and efficient will put me on the path of living life to the fullest. Voila! Simple.

Ecstatic at having made my discovery, I step out into the balcony to get some fresh air, promptly light a cigarette and puff away to glory. (Scene fades out.)

(Cut to Friday afternoon.) Thanks to the dolts who are disguised as the maintenance crew of US Airways, my flight has been delayed by 3 hours. As an aside, US Air and American Airlines are running neck to neck on this reality show that I unwittingly participate in, each weekend– ‘Kaun banega Amreeka ka sabse kharab airline?’

And then, I start making mental notes – have to email my itinerary to Rohit tomorrow. Shit! Got to transfer some dough into my money market account. I have to mail my expense report tomorrow or else, those dweebs in corporate will reimburse me diddly squat (actually, they will reimburse squat. Not even diddly.) I lose track of day to day stuff when I start thinking about this big picture crap. I need to get more organized and do the day to day stuff better…blah blah blah. You need to start making To do lists daily. I pop open my journal and create my ‘To do’ list for the weekend. Of course, the usual suspects do show up at the top of the list: Return Blockbuster DVD. Get snacks from Shalimar. Do laundry. Pay American Express bill. Sigh!)

Umm yeah, ‘full circle’ is probably the phrase you are looking for. Can’t wait for the first Sunday of next month!

A passing thought...

Why is it that we always realize the importance of something only after we have lost it…?

Bombay Dreams...

Some live and die in debt
Others making millions on the internet
Contradictions, city of extremes
Everything is possible in Bombay Dreams!

- An excerpt from one of the tracks in 'Bombay Dreams'

Never say...

I was contemplating writing a review of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. But, then, I realized that it I would be further wasting my precious time and energy for a ridiculously horrendous movie. So, I shall just say: Please do not watch KANK. It is an extremely bad movie.

Goose bumps...

Always. Such power, melody, simplicity, passion, longing….

Yeh jo des hai tera
Swades hai tera
Tujhe hai pukaara
Yeh woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahi sakta

ARR – words fail me.

Thank you...

In the spirit of continuous improvement and wanting more and more out of life, we set goals and achievable targets. At times, we fall short of them – some due to our abilities and at other times due to destiny. In the process, we all experience problems and dissatisfaction.

I wish I were making more money.
I don’t have the physique I want.
Why does he not want to date me?
My boss is such a hard ass.


Yes, we become too involved in ourselves and our needs and wants- Unwilling to settle for nothing but perfect. Wealth, power, career, beauty, popularity, the works.

But then, why don’t we think about the 8 year old kid who can’t play ball because he has polio, let alone go kayaking, biking and hiking all in one weekend? Why don’t we think about the war victims in Iraq who, after having lost half their family, can barely feed themselves, let alone think of driving the glitziest BMW? Why do our thoughts not linger on the young woman who has to walk 40 kilometres a day to fetch a pail of water in remote rural India, let alone think of getting drunk on Vodka cranberry?

Think about it. All parts of your body are intact and you have a sound mind. You have a job that helps you meet and exceed the basic necessities of life – food& water, shelter and clothing. Parents, siblings, relatives and friends who are by your side, who care for you and who love you. You are indeed bleesed!

The next time you wish you had a bigger apartment with more elegant furniture, think about the Haq family in Lebanon who had their house reduced to rubble under Israeli firepower.

There is an abundance of pain and suffering on earth. God has been kind to you and has spared you the kind of agony and excruciating frustration that others have been inflicted with. Be thankful for the life you have and for the people in your life.

Thank you God. Thank you for everything!

Tra la...

After living for 7 years in the United States, a close pal of mine left for India today, for good! He and I had been playing phone tag for the last few weeks and had not had a chance to have a meaningful conversation about our futures. He called me today from the airport, ‘This is it dude, this is it. I will not have my cell phone in a few minutes. Keep in touch. Goodbye and good luck!’ And, just like that, he was gone. I know I will miss exchanging witty repartees with him on a lazy Sunday afternoon.