To do...

This is a piece I had written a couple of years back and stumbled upon it as I was cleaning my laptop. Here goes:

It’s the first Sunday of the month. As is my wont, I sit down tonight to analyze and dissect my life, to answer lofty questions such as: Where am I? Where am I going? Where am I supposed to be going? What is the ultimate goal of my life?

I scribble furiously on my ‘ThinkPad’. (I thought the idea of calling my journal that was very clever. Hehe, how I revel in the simple joys of life. But wait, this is supposed to be a tale of self admonishment. Sushhh! I chide myself.)

A sampling of my notes – You are losing yourself in the quagmire of day to day ‘To do’ lists. Your existence is as desultory as Ajit Agarkar’s bowling. Do you realize that the computer is not a person? No, sleep does not count as exercise! Don’t sweat the small stuff. All you can think of every weekend is doing laundry, reading Time and getting munchies from the Indian store. Deplorable! You have raised procrastination and inertia to an art form (Hey, that’s a neat idea for a car bumper sticker – “If it weren’t for Newton, I would be moving!”) Why don’t you pursue interesting activities? And so, I make a list of purportedly ‘fun’ activities – dancing lessons (yeah, a good way to meet cute women.), biking in downtown, photography classes (right, that will give vent to my enormous creative energies), join the local Scrabble club, ad infinitum ad nauseam… and resolve to do at least one such ‘fun’ activity every weekend.

Next - for various aspects of my reclining and declining life, I outline what I am missing out on and what I need to do. That thing you call your career, is in shambles…take stock of your skills and your knowledge base. Figure out a good transition strategy to India. Hmm, that R2I mailing list should help. Try to call home every weekend. Organize your documents with a good file storage system. Avoid the cola! If you must, do the diet cola. Start running a mile every other day in the gym. Increase your contribution to your 401 K – it will help in the ‘long run’. Old chap, create a study plan for the GMAT! From the scribbles, emerges a pattern. It tells me what I want versus what I need, it tells me where I am falling short…it tells me what I should be doing to correct the shortfall and slowly but steadily, the picture starts gaining resolution and I hone in on my school of thought…

Yes, that’s it – Eureka! The goal of my life is to be happy!! My mind conjures up the image of a pizza stuck on the wall, titled ‘Happiness’. A pie that has many sectors cut out with a not so sharp pizza cutter – family, career, health & exercise, friends, finances, academics, sports, blah & blah label each sector. The key is to channelize the energy He gives us into various sectors of the pie. Finding the right mix of energies into the right channels, coupled with being productive, effective and efficient will put me on the path of living life to the fullest. Voila! Simple.

Ecstatic at having made my discovery, I step out into the balcony to get some fresh air, promptly light a cigarette and puff away to glory. (Scene fades out.)

(Cut to Friday afternoon.) Thanks to the dolts who are disguised as the maintenance crew of US Airways, my flight has been delayed by 3 hours. As an aside, US Air and American Airlines are running neck to neck on this reality show that I unwittingly participate in, each weekend– ‘Kaun banega Amreeka ka sabse kharab airline?’

And then, I start making mental notes – have to email my itinerary to Rohit tomorrow. Shit! Got to transfer some dough into my money market account. I have to mail my expense report tomorrow or else, those dweebs in corporate will reimburse me diddly squat (actually, they will reimburse squat. Not even diddly.) I lose track of day to day stuff when I start thinking about this big picture crap. I need to get more organized and do the day to day stuff better…blah blah blah. You need to start making To do lists daily. I pop open my journal and create my ‘To do’ list for the weekend. Of course, the usual suspects do show up at the top of the list: Return Blockbuster DVD. Get snacks from Shalimar. Do laundry. Pay American Express bill. Sigh!)

Umm yeah, ‘full circle’ is probably the phrase you are looking for. Can’t wait for the first Sunday of next month!