Motherhood and Apple Pie...

The goal of my life is to be happy. Happiness, to me, is like a pie cut into different sectors:

Family
Friends
Relationships
Greater Good
Financial well being
Career
Knowledge
Skills
Creative Pursuits / Interests
Rest & Relaxation
Prayer & meditation
Health, exercise/sport & diet
Fun & entertainment

The key is to channelize the energy that God gives us into different sectors of the pie, be efficient and effective and thus realize our goals and be happy. Now, the optimal distribution of energy is dynamic and changes as we progress through different phases in life.

I think the difference between happy and not so happy people (keeping this particular model in mind) is people who are able to anticipate the changing phases and who are able to channelize energies in the right proportion.

Come Together...

In order to have a fruitful, successful, satisfying and happy relationship, I think a couple needs to be compatible, match/gel and complement/supplement each other along 3 different axes:

1. Intellectual / mental, i.e. the ability to relate to each other, ease of
conversation, meaningful dialogue, exchange of ideas/thoughts, the ability to stimulate each other’s minds, to read each other
2. Emotional, i.e. to care for each other, to have affection for each other (which in due course may transform into love), to support each other and ‘be there’ for each other
3. Physical, i.e. attraction, physical comfort with each other, sexual satisfaction

I think that for a couple to be truly complete, each one has to feel that they are getting and / or giving each other enough, such that they both meet at least at the mid-way point.

In addition, it is essential that the two parties are truly comfortable with each other and enjoy being with each other! Bottomline: you need to have fun!

Another theory which I have heard, which is far more simplistic is: “For a great relationship, each party has to feel that they are getting a better deal than the other.”

All said and done, maybe it's just a big black box!