If only...

I think all of us have an idea of the kind of person that we want to be with and want as our significant other. However, when embarking on a relationship or when in a relationship, do we find such thoughts finding space amidst our grey cells:

If only he were taller
If only she could talk Marathi
If only she would be a little less loud in public
If only he was more ambitious

And so on and so forth, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

Does that mean that we are not happy with who are with? Does that mean we need to look for someone 'better' ? (Again, do we just want to be with someone intrinsically better or someone who is a better fit for us? Do we truly realize that distinction?) Are we just finding reasons to eke out of the relationship, just because that person does not conform to our mental image?
If such thoughts do wander in our head, is it because we are not happy in that relationship?

Do we place so much emphasis on peripheral personality traits, without truly bonding with the person for who he/she is? If we want someone to be taller, speak Marathi, be a little more subdued in public and a tad more ambitious, does that mean that we want the person we are with, to be someone else? Isn't it an implication that we are not accepting, understanding and loving the person for who he/she is? Isn't that the goal?

Agreed, self improvement is always a good motto(even for peripheral personality traits). But, then, where do you draw the line...?

Are we a generation so obsessed with perfection that we refuse to compromise and see the greater good that the bond is bringing to us and to the other person? Is there a tendency for people to want their significant other to morph into their idea of who that person should be?

Random ruminations...